So many times I’ve been trawling through travel blogs and found “Top Travel Tips for Women” but never before have I found travel tips for men. Feeling a bit left out and dejected at this I’ve decided shine a little light on this often ignored topic and bring you the long-awaited and desperately needed travel tips for men. The following are what I deem to be some of the most important tips a man can follow while travelling:
Never trust that inner voice
Where women can often rely on that little voice in their heads telling them that “this is probably a bad idea”, the little voice living inside a man’s head has been designed to do the complete opposite. Instead of telling us to walk away from a dangerous situation, the voice inside our heads would encourage us to face it head on and be the hero. Or if we found a sign saying “dangerous currents do not swim” the voice in our head takes it as a personal insult on our swimming skills and decides to make us take a dip anyway. That little voice in your head will be the undoing of your travels before you have even started. Ignore it at all costs.
Protect yourself from pick-pockets
Don’t wear pants with pockets. Or even better don’t wear pants at all.
She’s really not that in to you
Going abroad you’re bound to be feeling like a god. You’ve left your cares and responsibilities at home and have nothing left to tie you down. You’re THE man. Knowing you’re ‘the man’ you’re going to be expecting foreign women to be head over heels in love with you. When these supermodels start throwing themselves at you, you start picturing your life married to the stunning-20 year-old who’s currently hanging off your arm. In reality that supermodel who has taken a sudden interest in you is most likely after a visa or all of your money. The 2 month fling with the new love in your life will turn in to the worst investment you ever make bringing with it divorce costs that go through the roof. Before you end up in a sticky situation (and not the one you were hoping for) stop and think what a stunning 20-year-old actually sees in a scruffy backpacker in the first place.
Avoid public humiliation.
Ignore the second point. Wear pants.
You’re not Indiana Jones
Something I learned the hard way while travelling is that you don’t suddenly change into an action hero that’s able to take on any situation and come out of it with not so much as a bead of sweat on your forehead. You’re still the same old you and you haven’t learned overnight how to jump out of a moving car, do a few rolls and then stand up without a scratch on you. You’re bound to be placed in to a few situations while travelling when you think “yeah, I can do this” but deep down you know that 13ft jump across a swamp filled with very hungry alligators is way too ambitious for you yet you’ll still give it a damn good go. Do yourself a favour and walk away. Seriously… just walk.
And finally, possibly the most important advice your mother ever gave you reiterated by a random stranger;
Don’t be silly – wrap your willy!
This article isn’t intended as the most serious piece of advice. Check back for some real travel tips for men and women that are coming soon!